Rhiandoll™ ; Because every street is a catwalk.

"a diva is a female version of a hustler."

me, myself & i

Rhi•an [Ree-ann]
noun
A 17 year old girl residing in London, England. Jet black hair and tanned skin, with brown eyes. Calm and quiet yet hyper and loud. Relatively smart and witty. Short tempered but always loving and caring. Articulate, observant, sarcastic, loves to banter, prone to danger, stupidity and forgetfullness.
Synonym; Psychologist, Mathamatician, Physicist, Economist, Photographer, Choreographer, Actress.

wish upon a star

Stelleto heels
JLS (Marvin, Aston, JB, Oritse)
Pink JLS Hoodies with Rhiandoll on the back
Spartan aka Roderick Bradley
Boyfriend
Taufik Batisah
DS Lite (Pink)
Photoplus 11
Adobe Photoshop

Monday, 18 June 2007 || 5:35:00 pm

•Very Very Unsure..•

Well ever since yesterday I've been very confused about something. ..well someone to be truthful. I just can't get it out of my head the way he looked at me yesterday and today, Is that the start of some chemistry or just a friendly glance? I wish I knew.

Yesterday I really didn't feel like going to school but I went anyway but Mother said that I could go home early, at 1:00pm. It was a Thursday like any other, the last lesson that I had before going home was double PE. Somehow I managed to over shoot my 1:00pm and left at 1:18pm which was 2 mnutes before lunch time. Maybe it was luck, or maybe just destiny.....but as I walked paste dthe Tech Blocks I saw Amir comming from around the corner and a few seconds later that smexi Roman appeared from around the corner. Amir stopped to talk to me and Roman was there too. Amir asked where I was going and I replied "Home" then he asked "Why" so I said "Because I want to."After talking to him for a while I left and I could hear Amir talking to Roman about me, good things not bad things lol. He said thigs like "She is so lucky", "She gets to go home when ever she wants" and "She don't even have to go to school". Well that last one made me laught I tend to skip school after all the tests has passes because after the exams the teachers don't teach and we just play about in class, I come to shcool to learn and if I don't learn anything in school ther is no point in comming really is there? But anyway as I walked on towards the gate Amir called out to me and I turned around and he was touching Roman's arse and cuddling him...it made me soo jealous. But I remember the look on Roman as I turned around he looked at me but there was just something different about it, maybe it was eye contact or maybe ie was something else I'm really not sure were I stand with him.
Today was also like any other Friday. It was in English (4th period) if I'm not mistaken. I got in and so did Roman he and me sat down in our usual places. He sits on the same row but a couple of seats down, he was right next to the window. Before the lesson started there was alot of faffing about from some people, I turned around to look and I saw Roman staring at me. I didn't get a long look at him but it was long enough to make me feel, I dunno, like maybe something was going on? Maybe. A few minutes later I looked at him out of the corner of my eye and he was still looking at me, in that same way...like yesterday and a few minutes ago. I've seen him and he has been seeing be for 4 years not and I don't know why but it's just that something was different and I can't quite put my finger on it. To me it felt special, I'm not sure about how he feels though. So a few more minutes later there is still more faffing about and I turned around again and saw Roman STILL looking at me but this time I paused and made eye contact with him for a while. Something felt different, but it didn't feel wrong at all.

I dunno why this is happeneing to me! Does he love me or loathe me?I just want to know. Is it just mind games or is it for real? I've never seen a boy like this before. The closest thing I had was Zak but that was in Primary school we were only kids, I didn't even know the meaning of 'going out'. But I don't know, I pray Allah will help sort my head out and tell me if it's ment to be or not. I'd love it so if he felt the same about me but he is perfect and I'm not, I have to face the facts I'm not good enough for him and I know it. Roman knows that I like him, when a few of my friend told him that I liked him he just replied 'OK' whereas some boys would be like 'Fuck sake!'. I wonder id he sees me...or sees right through me like I'm invisiable.
I'd really like some opinions from my relatives and friends on this one as I've never been in proper love with a boy of my own age before, I don't know if it's natural or not. I'm really lost and I have no idea what's next. After hours of pondering I still am puzzled. Why was he staring at me for so long? Why is it tht over the past 2 days everytime I see him something just feels different but in a good way. Why is it that whenever he comes near me I get really nervous? I've liked him for a while but ever since yesterday and the whole Amir ass thing I just see Roman differently, but not in a bad way. I really can't describe this. Well thanks for listening/reading all that I have on my mind.

"I Can't Unlove You"- Ashley Tisdale.
&&LittalRaiihan..♣

˜Rhiandoll. }

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